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Dealing with bereavement during school/college/uni.

Friday, 27 March 2015
Having family and friends pass away is awful at any point in your life. When you are juggling that with full time education and a part time job it's normal to feel like you're going to combust at any time. The number 1 thing to remember is that you don't have to go through it alone.

Do what is best for you. Everyone deals with grieving in their own way so you do what is best and healthy for you to cope. If you're not a person who wants to talk about it then that's fine but your tutors will always be welcoming and supportive if you find you are starting to struggle. 

Don't try to carry on doing everything. If you need time off extensions for your work can be arranged without any problems. No one is expecting you to carry on with your 7 essays/projects whatever you have on. Sometimes it can take your mind off it to get stuck into a project but other times it can leave you a lot more stressed out. 

Don't be scared to hold back. Throughout your school years you're hormones are everywhere so don't ever think that you are being completely irrational or overreacting because if you are upset then it's a problem that needs fixing. The things you bottle up have to come out eventually. 

Don't dwell on death but celebrate life. It's surreal when someone who was a big part of your life isn't around anymore but that doesn't mean your memories disappear with them too. It's a lot more uplifting to reminisce on a happier time. 

I recently lost someone very close in my life. I confided in my family, friends and boyfriend because all throughout my education I've never built up that friendship or trust in a tutor. This is the reasoning for my post because I ended up learning the hard way and I let everything get on top of me. It's safe to say that I take a very stubborn and a "I'll just power through it all" approach to things. But deadlines meant that I didn't want to bother my friends and although I had my family I needed someone who could help me understand and get on top of my uni work. For the first time went to my progress tutor for help and said I needed someone to talk to, and I couldn't have asked for better support. Not long after she helped me put into perspective that I wasn't drowning in work and that I was actually quite ahead. Plus all you need is for someone to just sit there listen and pass you a box of tissues and biscuits.

I know I'm not the expert advice guru but if there's anything I've learned it's all these points above. We are all human and all go through this in our lives.

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